Fighting the Inner Monster

Friends have been asking how I'm doing/feeling about the upcoming appointment at the children's hospital and my answers have varied which made me realize that this would make for a blog (I did think through this today, so don't worry, I won't upset your brains with pages and pages of verbal diarrhea!). To be honest, I'm going into it with low expectations, so in a sense thinking the worst. But only to hope for the best. The last appointment made me feel like I was hit by the disappoint truck. I really was excited to get the surgery over with, to see his feet look normal and to just move on to the next steps. I was anticipating moving forward, and although this seems like a blip on the radar screen it just feels like a gigantic hurdle - you know, the one that you tried with your awkward junior high legs and fell because you couldn't jump the hurdle right. On the other hand, I'm also fighting the it-could-be worse-monster, and it really could, but again I become aware that my situation is what it is and I can't help feel this way. So gosh darn it I'm going to allow myself to.