Patience is NOT my virtue!

I must admit I am an impatient person. I am a person that is always about get things done and a get it over with type of person. As a mother, low and behold, I am still impatient. But the worst part is I recognize it even more. Something about motherhood brings out the best and worst in me. I have been assured that most mothers feel this way so no worries about confirming these thoughts!

The impatient mother came out today when I sat and thought about Braeden's upcoming appointment (or lack thereof). My husband and I realized a couple of days ago that the children's hospital had not given us Braeden's next appointment date via a phone call or a letter. Puzzled about this situation, I decided to call the children's hospital on Tuesday only to find out that someone had forgotten to tell the scheduling department that my son had a follow-up appointment. She also informed me that Braeden's orthopaedic doctor will not be in for the next 2 weeks. The scheduling lady was nice and apologized about the mix up and told me that she would call about what the doctor wants to do about Braeden's appointment. During the phone call, I was gracious and forgiving.

That was 2 days ago!

As I watched Braeden drag himself across the kitchen floor today, suddenly the impatient bear (mixed with a tad bit of anger) reared its ugly head and the only PG thoughts that I can express online were: "I have waited almost 6 weeks for these stupid, gross-looking casts to come off of Braeden's legs and they forgot to make a follow-up appointment!!  Also, 'nice' scheduling lady hasn't called back yet and I might have to wait another 3 weeks until the casts come off!"  By this time, Braeden has scooted at my feet, one casted leg behind him and the other in front with his big brown eyes begging me to pick him up. Of course, I pick him up because who can resist those huge brown eyes. Looking back at that moment, my impatience and tad bit of anger stems from two things. The first is yearning to experience a sense of normalcy. This year has been far from normal and not being able to experience the excitement of the crawling, standing, and walking milestones has been heartbreaking. Yes, I know that they will come and yes, I am really enjoying the fact that I am still  faster than Braeden, but that still does not stop the impatient yearning of normalcy.
The second stem is the desire to move on to the next chapter of club feet. In past blogs, I wrote about how this process was suppose to be simple - 6 to 8 weeks of casting, tenotomy, braces and walah this baby is healed! But the clubfeet journey has not been as simple as all the hospital literature said it would be. It has increasingly become complex and I so badly just want to get to the next phase of this journey.

Ultimately, I want to be able to wear a t-shirt that states: "Clubfeet: I've been there, done that!"

Happy Misunderstandings

Phone call to the hospital last Monday:

Us: Hi! We have an appointment tomorrow for Braeden who had surgery two weeks ago and we were just up there so we were wondering what the point of this appointment is and if we really need to go. We also need to know ASAP because if we do need to go we would have to leave this afternoon.

Nurse: Hold on. Let me see if I can talk with the doctor about your situation because your liaison nurse is sick today. 

Us: Okay (Hold for 5 minutes)

Nurse: I found the doctor and he said that you do have to come because he would like to see Braeden's stitches and put his feet up 5 degrees. 

Us: Oookkkaayy.... See you tomorrow. Thank for letting us know. [Hang up and both of us look at each other, ask: does that mean Braeden gets his casts off?  Shrug and do a mad rush of packing]

Oh what? 

Checking out the stitches? Does that mean new casts? Yep! 

We were shocked! I was happy because Braeden's casts were getting pretty gross :)

Our appointment this past week meant that we were able to see Braeden's wounds and to re-cast his feet into place. When they took the casts off, it was neat to see the scars. They are in the form of a 'Z' which is basically what Harry Potter had on his forehead! The doctor said that the scars are healing really well, no sign of infection and the feet look like they have the ability to move into the ideal position. Wahoo!

The worst part of the appointment was watching Braeden cry and shake in pain as they steadied the feet to put them in casts. My husband and I both knew that this had to happen or the surgery wouldn't take. As a mother, I think I have done well up to this point with Braeden's surgeries. Yes, I did worry and yes, I held it together as they took Braeden to the surgery room, but seeing him in pain almost made me break down. This emotion took me by surprise. Luckily, the orthotech was able to comfort me by saying that once the new casts were in place it would be easier for Braeden and that he would get used to the casts again.

It has been a week since the appointment and the orthotech was right, Braeden is used to the casts. He bangs those casted legs against the floor, his crib, the wall like it's nothing. We also found out that the lack of sleep was probably due to Braeden getting muscle spasms. The doctor explained that during the day, Braeden most likely does not feel the muscle spasms because he is busy playing or being held, but once things settle at night he would notice them more. Like I said in previous blogs, there is nothing we can do for muscle spasms, but the doctor suggested that Tylenol or Advil would be good to give him before he goes to bed to take the edge off. Ever since we have done that Braeden has gone to bed and is now back to his regular sleep routine. Yeah! Wahoo! So very excited!

The next step is in 3 weeks when we will be heading to the hospital again to remove the casts and hopefully get splints again or braces. However, it is dependant on how well Braeden's feet have healed. Wish us luck!

Hoping, Wishing & Praying

These three words encompass our answer to what is next for Braeden. We hope that the surgery takes, we wish that no more surgeries have to come and we pray (along with many other people) throughout this whole process.

The doctor was pretty positive that Braeden's surgery worked because he was able to get Braeden's feet up to 10 degrees, which is ideal. However, there is still that slim chance that the surgery did not take and we are hoping, wishing and praying that this will not be the case.

We hope, wish and pray that by the end of 6 weeks in casts, Braeden will be put into either braces with a bar (aka: Mitchell braces) or clam shell braces (what he had after his first surgery) to hold his feet in place. Kendall and I are wanting the Mitchell braces (though they're more expensive) because they give Braeden a little more mobility with his knees. I'm not sure how long the braces will be on for, but from what I've read about atypical club feet, my guess is that he will be in them full time, and then just while he sleeps until he's around 4.

Lastly, we are hoping, wishing and praying that he will not have to go through another surgery. In Braeden's club foot case there is a higher chance of re-occurrence around the age of 2 and the only option would be for surgery at that point in time.

All that being said, Braeden is still doing great. He loves looking at his toes in curiosity and grabs at the ends of the casts periodically. And maybe even eats the cotton from it. Yuck! Good thing cotton is digestible... Sometimes at this age, they tend not to sleep well because they love to wake up in the middle of the night and play. At first I thought it was his teeth, or pain or muscle spasms post-surgery before I realized the little guy just wants to be up and have us playing with him. We are just thankful that the change in sleep patterns is due to a phase he is going through and not because of pain.    

Quick Update (Sort of)

It is the morning after Braeden's surgery and I have to say I am impressed with my little boy. Due to all the comings and goings of a hospital room, the longest he was able to sleep overnight was 4 hours straight, which is pretty good. God bless pain medication!

Braeden did so well the morning before surgery too, even though he was starving because he had to fast. Surgery itself went really well - 4 hours long with casting, an hour longer than expected because there were additional cuts needed in his feet. The doctor also said that when he looked at where he cut the achilles tendons last time, the tendons had tightened up so much that it did not even look like it was severed before! However, the good news is that the doctor was able to get the flex in Braeden's feet that he wanted to and hopefully we won't need to do another surgery for awhile (maybe ever).

It took Braeden an hour to wake up after surgery before we met him in the recovery room, but he wouldn't settle for two hours. I tried breast feeding but he just didn't have the energy to suck, so we decided to give him sugar water, which he took. He was pretty gassy, so we gave him gripe water and that settled him a little. The doctor said with the morphine drip and other various pain medications, Braeden should settle in recovery, but if he didn't then it most likely meant that the casts were on too tight (apparently this is more common than we first realized). In the end, we had to split the casts-AGAIN! Luckily, this time it did not take 6 hours to figure that out. 

Right now, Braeden is fast asleep and we are trying hard to elevate and ice his feet when we can. He is such an active baby so it makes this part really fun :)