Hoping, Wishing & Praying

These three words encompass our answer to what is next for Braeden. We hope that the surgery takes, we wish that no more surgeries have to come and we pray (along with many other people) throughout this whole process.

The doctor was pretty positive that Braeden's surgery worked because he was able to get Braeden's feet up to 10 degrees, which is ideal. However, there is still that slim chance that the surgery did not take and we are hoping, wishing and praying that this will not be the case.

We hope, wish and pray that by the end of 6 weeks in casts, Braeden will be put into either braces with a bar (aka: Mitchell braces) or clam shell braces (what he had after his first surgery) to hold his feet in place. Kendall and I are wanting the Mitchell braces (though they're more expensive) because they give Braeden a little more mobility with his knees. I'm not sure how long the braces will be on for, but from what I've read about atypical club feet, my guess is that he will be in them full time, and then just while he sleeps until he's around 4.

Lastly, we are hoping, wishing and praying that he will not have to go through another surgery. In Braeden's club foot case there is a higher chance of re-occurrence around the age of 2 and the only option would be for surgery at that point in time.

All that being said, Braeden is still doing great. He loves looking at his toes in curiosity and grabs at the ends of the casts periodically. And maybe even eats the cotton from it. Yuck! Good thing cotton is digestible... Sometimes at this age, they tend not to sleep well because they love to wake up in the middle of the night and play. At first I thought it was his teeth, or pain or muscle spasms post-surgery before I realized the little guy just wants to be up and have us playing with him. We are just thankful that the change in sleep patterns is due to a phase he is going through and not because of pain.    

Whac-A-Mole

I have huge sympathy pains for mothers whose babies do not sleep through the night. This was our reality with Braeden the first few days after coming from the hospital. He was waking up every two hours screaming and crying, which is very rare for him (his sleep pattern is now slowly regulating). The anaesthesiologist explained that if the body has two pain areas, usually one pain area becomes worse than the other, meaning that Braeden could be experiencing massive amounts of pain in either his mouth because of teething or his feet because of the surgery. Or Braeden could be experiencing muscle spasms in his legs, which we can only wait out. As a parent, it is both difficult and frustrating to figure out what to do in these circumstances. Do we elevate his legs because he feels pressure? Does he need to breastfeed? Even though we just fed him solid foods an hour ago? Do we give him more pain medications? When do wean him off of pain meds? Does he want to be lying down even when he is screaming his head off?

Since Braeden can't communicate, it is hard to know what next steps are. We are always guessing, second guessing, trying anything we can to calm him down. In a way, it is normal for parents to feel like they are playing the game whac-a-mole when trying to comfort their child. Eyes darting back and forth, trying to figure out just the right thing to make the crying stop. But when the guessing game is exacerbated by the surgery, it can make it feel like you're playing three whac-a-mole games at the same time instead of just one.

As we come through these challenges, one week after surgery it's been a relief to see him slowly coming back to himself, laughing lots and swooning all the old ladies at the grocery store.

Day 2: Post Surgery

No one ever tells you that the second day of something is always the hardest! I experienced this after my mom passed away, after giving birth to Braeden and now Braeden's surgery. Man, I wish people would tell you these things!!

Anyhoo, Braeden had a pretty rough night last night. He woke up at least once an hour. The nurse said the second day is always the hardest because the morphine wears off and babies start cluing in that their feet are bound by heavy plaster. Miraculously, I felt like I was gifted with divine patience last night and was able to handle the hourly wake ups. If I was giving 'Dear Abby' advice about any child going through surgery it would be the same as when you gave birth to it - sleep when the baby sleeps.

Despite Braeden's lack of sleep pattern last night, I think he is doing absolutely amazing. Although his legs are bound up, he is still laughing and making cute faces. He is supposed to lie down on his back and elevate his legs as much as possible for a couple of days after surgery. Despite wanting to get up and interact more, he only whimpers when he is put down. On his tummy, he is still trying to move around like he has no casts. So watch out world, this baby is going to be super strong, he's a trooper!

Quick Update (Sort of)

It is the morning after Braeden's surgery and I have to say I am impressed with my little boy. Due to all the comings and goings of a hospital room, the longest he was able to sleep overnight was 4 hours straight, which is pretty good. God bless pain medication!

Braeden did so well the morning before surgery too, even though he was starving because he had to fast. Surgery itself went really well - 4 hours long with casting, an hour longer than expected because there were additional cuts needed in his feet. The doctor also said that when he looked at where he cut the achilles tendons last time, the tendons had tightened up so much that it did not even look like it was severed before! However, the good news is that the doctor was able to get the flex in Braeden's feet that he wanted to and hopefully we won't need to do another surgery for awhile (maybe ever).

It took Braeden an hour to wake up after surgery before we met him in the recovery room, but he wouldn't settle for two hours. I tried breast feeding but he just didn't have the energy to suck, so we decided to give him sugar water, which he took. He was pretty gassy, so we gave him gripe water and that settled him a little. The doctor said with the morphine drip and other various pain medications, Braeden should settle in recovery, but if he didn't then it most likely meant that the casts were on too tight (apparently this is more common than we first realized). In the end, we had to split the casts-AGAIN! Luckily, this time it did not take 6 hours to figure that out. 

Right now, Braeden is fast asleep and we are trying hard to elevate and ice his feet when we can. He is such an active baby so it makes this part really fun :) 

Surgery Number Two

It has been a while since I have wrote a blog. For a while there I didn't know exactly what else to write during the waiting period between surgeries and now the excuse has been family circumstances. Now, I have a ton to write about :)

The next leg of the clubfeet journey is another surgery. A tenotomy (aka: achilles tendon) lengthening and loosening of some of the ligaments in his feet. Apparently, the poor guy will be under anaesthesia and the surgery is going to be around 3 hours long. To date, Braeden has been wearing braces at night (which he just grew out of) and we have tried to make a habit of stretching his feet 2-3 times daily to help keep his feet from regressing before surgery.

I have mixed emotions about Braeden's surgery. I am excited that his feet are going to be fixed, but it is mixed in with fear. With my mom passing away from cancer recently and seeing her in the hospital before and after she passed away, somehow I think my brain has equated hospital experiences with grief. I am also a little apprehensive that the surgery might not work and that getting his feet fixed might be more than meets the eye. Now, I know that some of my fear stems from these events being so close and really its about convincing myself that the two events are absolutely different. But you know how it is, you are your own worst convincer! However, I do have faith in our orthopaedic team because they have been so great at taking care of our situation thus far and have been good at communicating the reality of our situation even though it has been difficult for us to hear at times.

Until after surgery . . .